


Birthday Blast

by HauntedAutomaton



Series: Mr. Universe and the Crystal Gems: Reunion Tour [12]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: (Hint of) Autistic Connie, Advice, Birthday, Character Growth, F/M, Intersex, Laser Tag, M/M, Nonbinary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 20:43:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20712254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HauntedAutomaton/pseuds/HauntedAutomaton
Summary: It's Connie's birthday, and what better way to celebrate than a classic game of Laser Tag. Things get a bit more complicated when they run into an unfortunately familiar face.





	Birthday Blast

“Alright, kids, have fun!” Greg called out. “And be careful, I don’t want to have to explain to the Maheswarans that their daughter vaporized someone.”

The two teens laughed. “Dad! It’s just laser tag!” Steven chuckled.

Connie, however, assured him. “Don’t worry, Mr. Universe, I’ll just aim to wound.” She made a finger-gun and took aim at Steven.

“Sounds like a plan,” Greg smiled, “Now hurry up and get in line, you two, it looks like this place is getting crowded. I’ll be back to pick you up around nine, but call if you need anything!”

“Thanks, da-WAGHU!” Steven yelped, as Connie was poking him in the side with her finger-guns. “Ok! I’m wounded!”

The two of them ran off to take their place in line under the towering leaderboard.

“Your dad was right, this place is packed!” Connie watched the screen above them tick over to the next set of winners:

** 1st: x X Oniocolypse X x**

** 2nd: EvilTwin2**

** 3rd: Suitcase Sid**

As the line squeezed into place, she instinctively pressed close to Steven, and grabbed his hand.

“You ok?” he asked her, stepping a little outside the crowded center of the line.

“Yeah, there’s just a lot of people.”

“You wanna do something else? We could see if the planetarium is open!”

Connie shook her head. “No, it’s like you said, laser tag is a birthday classic. And I want a real birthday party! ...Not some shoddy light show put on by amateurs who still think Pluto is a planet...”

“Well don’t worry, Connie,” Steven held her hand close as they approached the ticket counter, “I’ll do everything in my power to make sure this birthday party is the best! ...Even if you did say that terrible stuff about the  _ planet _ Pluto.”

The girl rolled her eyes, but couldn’t stop the few giggles that spilled out.

As the pair reached the teller, Steven handed over a couple of bills. “Two, please!”

The girl working the counter turned around. “Steven! Connie! The kawaii kids! Welcome to Funland: North!”

“Jane!” They both said. “How have you been?” asked Steven. “How’s Ronaldo’s ‘internship’ going?” Connie inquired.

“Pretty good all around!” Jane sprouted a toothy smile. “I get to hear all about the history stuff he’s been documenting for the city, and he can bring people to the lighthouse again, now that he’s actually allowed to be there. I really like it up there, even if I have to listen to him try and translate old murals all night.”

“I thought he liked helping the gems out with that stuff.” Connie wondered.

“Oh no, he loves it, I just...” The clerk shifted uncomfortably. “I wonder if I’m cut out for being involved with all that magic-princess stuff.” She began to scratch an anxious wrist, but Connie caught her attention. The young girl gave her a knowing smile, and a nod of understanding. Jane managed a smile in return, and her concern subsided. “It makes for a good read, though.”

“I bet it does,” said Connie, indicating the copy of ‘My Haunted Princess Boyfriend’ the teller had on her desk. The girls shared self-amused laugh.

“Miss Jane!” an accented voice called from the back room. “We are on a tight schedule, and if we fall behind, things will only get worse!”

“Sorry, kids, we better move it before Quentin gets even more out of sorts. We had our grand opening this week, and he really wants to impress Mr. Smiley.”

Steven and Connie nodded with a resolute “Hm!”

Jane led them back over to the suit-up rooms. “Which team do you guys want? The Chartreuse Supremacy, or the Flaming Fuchsia Freedom Fighters?”

Both kids let out an exaggerated “Hrrrmmm...”

Moments later, Steven and Connie were gearing up in a bright-pink bunker.

“Is my vest on backwards?” Steven whispered to Connie.

“No, I think mine is,” she replied.

The two of them fidgeted with the bulky plastic. Once or twice they almost got the straps tangled between them, but they managed to sort it out with minimal blushing. By the end, they were suited up like a pair of extras on an old sci-fi TV show.   
“How do I look?” Steven struck an ‘action-y’ pose he remembered from one of his favorite army-men.

“Like a real space marine!”

Jane took a spot at the head of the room, and started going over the rules.

No running around corners, no covering your sensor, no ‘melee executions,’ etc.

Connie, who normally paid rapt attention to any kind of briefings or instructions, seemed instead to be trying to sink into the back of the room.

“What’s up?” Steven whispered.

“Nervous,” she whispered back. “Loud noises, big crowds, dark spaces... are you sure this is fun?”

“Totally. But if not, we can leave. Any time you like.”

“Thanks.”

The countdown over the door started.

“I’ll just stay behind you,” said Connie.

The overhead lights cut out, leaving only blacklight to illuminate the way.

“You’ve got my back,” said Steven.

The door opened.

The team trundled out into the arena, and immediately dispersed as the music picked up.

The teens walked out to see the spray-painted sign over the arena entrance:

** _LAZER-MAZE_ **

Moments later, the battle had begun in earnest.

“C’mon, Connie! It’s like an action movie! Watch this!” Steven dove out of cover, using the power of joy to float in slow motion across the hallway.

“A A A A A G G G H H H H H !” he called out in a long, slow, deep voice, firing his laser rifle as he drifted. He landed on the other side of the doorway, skidding to a stop. “Slow motion!” he exclaimed, arms overhead, revealing his blinking red vest.

“You died!” it buzzed.

“Huh? But I was so cool.” he said, a little dejected, but Connie’s laughter brought his smile back.

“Steven, I don’t think slow motion is a good dodging tactic. It kinda makes you an easy target.” At the far end of the corridor, Onion nodded in agreement, and shot off some covering fire as he moved further into the maze.

“After him!” Connie laughed, and the two of them barrelled down the hallway.

They passed a few twists and turns before they heard someone murmuring up ahead. Connie threw her back against a wall and held her hand up in a “stop” motion. Steven took cover behind her, then softly high-fived her hand.

“Your turn, Connie,” Steven stage-whispered over the thrumming music, “action movie.”

“What about a hard-boiled cop drama? I’m more familiar with the conventions.”

“Be whatever kind of egg-cop you want! It’s your birthday after all.”

Connie stifled a giggle and nodded. She posted up at the corner and waited to see the shadow of her target move toward the doorway. It was now or never.

“Freeze! FBI!” She shouted, trying not to laugh.

“AUGH! Wait! Please! I didn’t know she was two kids, I swear!” cried Connie’s suspect, as the slick soles of his new shoes slid out from under him, and he fell backwards onto the ground.

“Kevin?!” Connie gasped, as Steven ran around the corner.

“AGH, uh, oh...It’s just you two.” Kevin sat up, and started feeling around the dark floor. “If one of you twerps busted my phone-”

_ PEW _

“You died!” buzzed his vest.

Steven lowered his rifle and pressed the reload button. The bulky plastic box played a static-crusted midi of a pumping shotgun.

Kevin stared for a moment, squinting at the two kids. “We’re on the same team,” he indicated the pink stripes on his vest.

“Ehhh...” said Steven as Connie squinted and made a ‘so-so’ motion with her hand.

“Whatever. Just don’t step on my phone.” Kevin continued scanning the floor.

As he sat up, Connie spotted a black rectangle under his foot.

“I think you beat us to it,” she said, picking up the shattered device between two fingers. Kevin snatched the destroyed phone from her hand, “Lemme see!” and frantically began trying to type on it, to no avail. “Idiot!” He threw the phone into a dark corner where it flickered and died. He sat for a moment. Despite the music and the shouts of combatants, it felt like an awkward silence.

“Sorry,” Connie began, but Kevin cut her off.

“Not you. It’s fine, or something. Thanks for finding it.”

“Was it expensive?”

“What? No. I don’t know. Maybe? It doesn’t matter.”

Steven shifted beside Connie, and sighed. “What’s wrong, Kevin? Why are you here?”

The older teen narrowed his eyes at Steven, but his expression softened. “I’m trying to meet someone here. We were...he’s supposed to...deliver something. But now, he’s not gonna have any idea I’m here, and he’s just gonna think I bailed.”

Steven set his jaw, closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. “I...I can help you find your friend.”

“We both can,” Connie interjected. “It’s my fault you dropped your phone, so I’ll help too. Sorry for scaring you, by the way.”

Kevin opened his mouth to make a snide comment, but didn’t find one. Instead he just sighed. “This place is full of tourist garbage right now. We’d never find him.”

Connie narrowed her eyes, but had to admit, the place was packed.

“I’ve got it!” Steven exclaimed. “You remember that big leaderboard up at the front? You can see it from everywhere, and they put the top three players in big bright letters. We just have to get the high score, and then your friend will see it no matter where he is!”

Kevin’s confusion was visible even in the blacklight. “That idea...is impressively dumb.”

“Watch it, Pre-Torn Jeans!” Connie barked, kicking his shoe.

“Hey!...I wear these ironically.” Kevin fidgeted with one of the frayed denim holes.

“Do you have a better idea, or do you just not think you can do it?” she asked.

“Please, I could mop the floor with these tourists.”

“Even when you’ve been sulking in the corner for half the game?”

Kevin looked around for a moment. “Oh...well...who on the team is gonna pick up the slack? You two?”

Connie shuffled her foot a little. The toe of it touched Steven’s sandal. She looked to him. “Kinda...” she said, “If that’s ok with you, Steven.”

“Yeah,” he said turning from Connie to Kevin, “We’ll help, but first, I think you owe someone an apology.”

The song around them reached its breaking point. The pounding synth piped into the labyrinth synced with the strobing lights, and Kevin only caught a glimpse of the two teens move into each other, melting into one being.

The glowing subsided, revealing Stevonnie. They held both plastic laser guns, and Steven’s vest was slung around their waist like a thick, blocky holster.

“That is still crazy weird,” Kevin said as the music started to die down.

Stevonnie simply glared at him. “Kevin.”

He continued to sit. “What?”

They continued to glare.

“...Fine!” he relented. “Sorry I showed up the kid in front of his girl or whatever.”

Stevonnie wore a confused expression, one that was becoming more familiar in dealing with Kevin. “...No...” was all they could manage through gritted teeth.

“I mean,” Kevin shifted against the wall, puffing up his chest, “it’s perfectly understandable, how could he not be jealous? There’s no way he could compar-”

Stevonnie picked Kevin up by his monogrammed collar.

“Remind me why we’re helping you again?”

The boy’s head shrank into his pressed shirt, but he managed to squeak out a reply. “Or...you know...maybe I’m wrong?”

Stevonnie dropped him back onto the patchy black carpet. “You think it’s ok to make me feel like you did. To make someone feel like a...like...” Stevonnie struggled for words they didn’t quite know, and held themselves in their arms, letting the plastic guns drape at their sides.

Kevin started picking himself back up. “Ok, I didn’t know you were kids...that wasn’t cool...and I am sorry about that-”

“So it would be ok as long as I’m older? To treat me more like a thing than a person?” Stevonnie stared him down. Eyes damp, but stern, glowing in the blacklight.

Kevin looked away, sliding back down the wall. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I mean, I’m a beautiful guy, you’re a beautiful...” The fusion’s eyes narrowed. “...you...it’s just how people are! It’s how a guy has to be...” The young man let his focus wander to his shattered phone. “...right?”

He felt a hand on his shoulder. “No, Kevin.” Stevonnie helped him up. “It isn’t.”

He let himself be helped up, and dusted off his shirt and ironically-worn pants. He paused to examine the fusion in a new light. Tall, confident, big hair, bare feet, and apparently very, very strong. “Thanks,” was all he said.

“Hm,” Stevonnie nodded, and picked up the kids’ shoes. “Ugh, this place  _ just _ opened,” they said, wiggling their toes on the carpet that was just  _ barely _ sticky enough to be concerning. “How are the floors already this dirty?”

“I know,” Kevin commiserated, “I’m pretty sure I sat on a decade-old stain in three-week-old carpet.” Faint laserfire rang out in the background around them. “Sorry,” he said at last. For the first time his voice wasn’t laced in performance or dripping with irony. Stevonnie thought he almost sounded like a different person.

The fusion stuffed the shoes behind one of their vests, and handed Kevin his cracked phone. “Still wanna find your friend?”

Kevin took the device, turning it in his hand, before pocketing it. “Sure, why not.” A little irony still clung to his tone, but his face was more smile than smirk.

“You aren’t afraid you’ll lose to two kids in a trenchcoat, are you?” Stevonnie powered up their rifles, each one sounding out a call of scifi_wep_chrg_royaltyfree.wav from their speakers.

Kevin followed suit while scoffing at Stevonnie, but still not quite able to suppress the urge to rise to their challenge.

The last notes of the song faded into the dark, and the strobing spotlights slowed. Sour Cream’s voice came over the PA, “Ok, uhhh, that was ‘I’m Not Good at Naming Songs 5.’ It’s time for the second half, so...up next...oh! One of my early classics! Here’s ‘Untitled 18!’”

Inside the central maze, fog machines churned to life. They hissed, sputtered, and belched out thick, oily clouds of glycerine into the arena. The Chartreuse Supremacy had gained an early lead, and held most of the central territory. They had spotters posted high, trying to pick out stragglers in the quickly rising mist. Their high-scoring soldiers were patrolling the corridors, looking to improve their ratios in the second half. They even had assassins lying in wait around blind corners, buying their time for easy points.

It was into this warzone that Kevin and Stevonnie strode.

By the time Untitled 18’s drop hit, an entire flank of Chartreuse soldiers was down, red vests buzzing with defeat.

“Follow that one!” Kevin called out. “The girl ones like to clump up for safety in numbers!” He took lead, picking off easy points and routing them to the most advantageous positions. Stevonnie, with their heightened reflexes, combat experience, and higher vantage point, took the rear. They provided covering fire, watched the flanks, and kept a lookout for respawns trying to sneak up behind them.

“I feel footsteps, someone’s on the catwalk above us,” Stevonnie indicated with one of their rifles.

“Then I’m headed to the ramp, cover me!” As much as he would later deny it, Kevin couldn’t help but get invested in the competition. He bolted down the corridor, while Stevonnie followed, laying down rapid fire back at the sniper on the catwalk with both rifles. One of their shots found its mark, as the grisly sounds echoed down from the fallen soldier:

“Consarnit, I’m dead again.”

The pair of freedom fighters made it up the ramp, and deep into enemy territory.

“Alright,” Kevin panted, “You head up and flush ‘em out, then lure ‘em back here where I can finish ‘em off.”

Stevonnie couldn’t help but smirk. “You’re actually really getting into this.”

“What can I say? When Kevin plays, Kevin plays to win.”

The fusion rolled their eyes, and pushed forward into the enemy group. They eliminated a few with a couple deft shots, but decided to leave some for Kevin. When the survivors were well aware of Stevonnie’s location, they all charged down the catwalk.

“Incoming!” They called out. The hybrid fusion kicked off the ground, and pumped their legs to stay airborne. The strained floating was enough for Kevin to get a good shot, and a half-dozen more Supremacy soldiers were left with buzzing vests.

Stevonnie landed behind him as Kevin reloaded. “You’re still weird,” he offered, choosing not to acknowledge the display of levitation. The fusion responded only with a toothy grin.

The pair made their way up to the central perch, stepping over the tangled mess of their fallen foes along the path, bodies strewn across the walkway.

“Oh, pardon me,” said one of the corpses, moving their legs out of the way.

The two finally made it into the holdout, and took cover to await the next wave.

“What does your friend look like, by the way? So I can pick him out if I spot him,” asked Stevonnie.

“Ha! If you saw him, you’d know it. He’s the only one you’ll find here as cool as me. He’s chill, and not just faking it. It’s like, he actually  _ really _ doesn’t care about what anyone else thinks about him. At all. Like, if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was completely oblivious. Total legend. Trust me, if you see this guy, you’ll know.”

“Sounds great...” Stevonnie couldn’t help but dread the thought of meeting  _ another _ Kevin. “So, what’s he delivering?”

“Just...” Kevin shifted, visibly uncomfortable, “something of mine...we were supposed to just meet and maybe hang out, too. And if only it hadn’t been in a dump like this, we wouldn’t be in this mess.” Red lights flashed outside. Respawns were almost up.

The fusion grimaced at Kevin’s attitude. “Why come here then, if it’s such  _ garbage _ ?”

“Because...because in a crowded place like this, no one would recognize us.”

“And...why does that matter?”

Kevin sighed. “It’s my dad, mostly.”

Stevonnie stepped back from the parapet in confusion. “What about your dad?”

“You know what dads are like, there are just some, expectations.”

The taller teen squatted down next to Kevin. “That doesn’t sound like either one of my dads.”

“You have two dads?” he implored with a jolt. “What are they like?”

“They’re both, helpful, caring,” Stevonnie spared a single giggle thinking about Doug and Greg’s antics. “Heh, they’re really funny too, actually. Connie’s dad-”

But Kevin cut them off, his brow furrowed low. “They don’t really sound like dads.”

Stevonnie managed to not take offense. “Well, they act like it.”

The young man peeked over the edge to ensure that their targets were still filing past them down below. “Either way, you’re not a guy. You wouldn’t understand the image I have to uphold.”

Stevonnie responded only with a silent, deadpan, eyeroll.

“Wait... _ are _ you a guy?”

The alarms below them began to sound. A fresh wave of soldiers was on the way.

“Uh...what?” was all the fusion could muster.

“Those two kids that turn into you, one’s a boy, right? So, like, what are you?” Kevin looked at them the same way he did when they floated earlier. Like they were ‘weird.’

“I...I don’t...know, really?” Stevonnie gave an uneasy shrug.

“Couldn’t you just like...” Kevin wavered in his suggestion, “...check?”

Stevonnie pinched the bridge of their nose, squinting hard. “Kevin...it’s more complicated than that, and-”

“That’s cool,” said the boy with a nervous hitch in his voice, “yeah, whatever, it’s your business, you’re right. I just, don’t really know what to call you when-”

“You’ll figure it out,” Stevonnie interrupted.

“...sorry,” admitted a sour Kevin.

“It’s ok.” Stevonnie posted up at the doorway. “It’s just something for me, Steven, and Connie to figure out together.” They kept an even tone, and got through the thought with minimal embarrassment.

Reinforcements could be heard filling the arena below.

“When they try to regroup up here, we take out their snipers and then move in the clear out the stragglers,” Kevin explained.

“Right.”

At the end of the catwalk, a group of soldiers came around the corner, and were fed right into the duo’s crossfire.

It was a massacre. Laserlight ripped through the air, heralding the demise of soldier after soldier. As the duo made their way through the killing fields, a single, haunting voice among the fallen followed after them.

“Oop, they got me.”

It wasn’t long until Stevonnie and Kevin had fought all the way back to the front of the maze. They could see the outline of the exit door before them, ringed in amber daylight.

“Did we get ‘em all?” Kevin asked.

“I think so-” Stevonnie was cut off by a stream of laserfire. “Nevermind!”

The pair quickly took cover on either side of the doorway, with bright yellow beams ripping past them.

“Hey dudes, dudettes, dudidn’ts, and dudon’ts,” Sour Cream’s voice came over the speakers once more. “Only a minute left, so like, hurry up and do violence. Oh, and here’s ‘AFDSG Copy 2’.”

Kevin listened to the rapid thrumming of the final song. “Well, any ideas?”

“Let’s at least see who we’re dealing with.” Stevonnie stuck their head out for a moment. “It’s Onion!”

A bolt hit them square in the face. “My eyes!” They flattened themselves back into cover. “Onion, headshots don’t count!” Stevonnie crossed their eyes, still seeing stars. “The sensor’s on the vest!”

Kevin took the opportunity to peek himself. “ _ My _ eyes!” The two of them leaned against the wall, blinking.

Stevonnie shook themselves out of the daze. “Alright, I’m going in. Kevin, tell my dads I love them.”

Kevin only stared back with deadpan eyes.

“Charge!” Stevonnie cried, firing full auto with both guns. Kevin watched as they went around the corner, and then heard the familiar audio. “You died!”

“What! Onion! You can’t put tape over the sensor, that’s cheating!”

Kevin rolled his eyes, covered his own sensor with his hand, and walked into the hallway.

“C’mere twirp.” He picked Onion up by the back of the bulky plastic vest.

“Don’t be rude, Kevin,” Stevonnie chided, as they peeled off the electrical tape Onion had used to hide his laser sensor. They then picked up Kevin’s gun from his side while he held on to the wiggling Onion, and Stevonnie put a laser bolt into the boy vegetable menace right as the timer went off.

“Time’s up, thanks for playing,” Sour Cream announced, “Good job on the photon murder.”

For his part, Onion only gave the two a sour look before trotting back into the dark.

“Think that did it?” Stevonnie asked.

Kevin shrugged.

“Well, either way, I’m beat. Alright, kids, you have to deal with him now.” Stevonnie melted into an undulating pool of pale magenta light, unfurling into a pair of lumpy, gangly children tangled in plastic armor.

“Oomph-” they said together.

Kevin only shook his head, then began to help them up.

They all deposited their decade-old futuristic weaponry in the bins, and headed out into the main hall. Steven lead the way, spinning as he went, trying to remember where the leaderboard was.

“There!” Connie pointed.

“Look!” cried Steven. “We did it!”

**1st: NONE**

**2nd: Laser_Lisa**

**3rd: Steven : )**

Connie slowly turned to face Kevin. “You didn’t put your name in, did you?”

Kevin was busy trying to look anywhere else. “It seemed lame...look, I told you it was a dumb plan!”

“Hey!”

The trio looked to see a happy Jamie waving at them.

“Jamie!” Steven called back, “Can you help us out we’re looking for-” He stopped when he noticed Kevin’s face.

“Uh, hey man,” said Kevin.

“Hey,” Jamie said again. The pair of them stood for a moment on the boardwalk. “Oh! I uh...brought your jacket.” Jamie took the jacket he was wearing off, handing it to Kevin. “You said you hated when your faux-faux-leathers got wrinkled, so I just wore it here, but in the car ride it might have gotten a little-”

“No! No, that’s uh, that’s cool. I’m kinda trying out the ‘distressed’ look...”

“Well I gotta say, it’s work’n for ya,” Jamie said, lightly elbowing Kevin’s side. Kevin failed to maintain an aloof disposition, as Jamie addressed the kids.

“So, Steven, Connie, you two know Kev? Isn’t he the coolest?” Jamie put his arm around a beet-red Kevin.

Steven and Connie shared a look.

“Uh...” Steven began.

“...That’s what we’ve heard,” Connie finished with a smile that was genuine enough to remind Steven just how good of a liar she was.

“So? What have you kooks been up to?” Jamie asked.

“We...” Kevin said suddenly, “...Uh, I met...Connie and little Stefan here...”

“Steven,” Connie corrected.

“Yeah, him...I uh, I met their friend.”

Jamie smiled. “Oh yeah, Steven has a lot of friends. What were they like?”

Kevin snapped his fingers. “They!  _ They _ were...actually...pretty cool.  _ They _ helped me win laser tag.” He looked to the children for their reaction, and was visibly relieved when they nodded in approval.

“They sound cool, if they can hang with you,” Jamie very casually took Kevin’s hand in his own. Kevin was very resolute in his aloof expression, trying very hard to look like he didn’t have a left arm, all while enjoying that left arm very much.

Jamie continued, turning back to Steven and Connie, “I’d love to meet them sometime. Maybe they can come see my new group ‘Much Improv About Nothing’?”

Steven smiled. “I’m sure they’d love to.”

Connie tugged on Steven’s sleeve, “You’re dad’s here.”

“Well, gotta go, guys. It was nice catching up, Jamie.”

“Bye, Steven!” Jamie replied.

“Oh,” Steven continued, thoughtfully, “and thanks, Kevin. Good...good shooting.”

“Psh,” Kevin began, but stopped short of an actual eye roll. “Yeah, uh, thanks.”

“Have fun tonight you two!” Connie called back, pulling Steven along with her.

Jamie smiled and waved, while Kevin was desperately trying not to look incinced.

“Well,” Connie began, walking slowly to Greg’s van. “That was...interesting.”

“Yeah...” Steven watched his flip-flops flip-flop as he walked, puzzled.

“Well, I guess it’s true what they say about how opposites attract.”

“Yeah...” Steven repeated, then stopped. “Wait, what?”

“About Jamie? And Kevin?”

“Oh! Ha, yeah. Do you think we should like...warn Jamie?” Steven asked, half serious.

Connie shrugged. “Kevin seems like he’s coming around. Slowly.”

“Yeah,” Steven admitted. “I guess we can just keep an eye on it. For now.”

Connie shook her head, smiling.

It wasn’t long before the pair of them were piled into the van and headed back home.

“You two have fun?”

“Yeah, we did,” Connie answered him, but she was looking at Steven. He was deep in thought. She offered him her hand.

“Dad?” Steven asked, squeezing Connie’s hand.

“Mmmhm?” Greg hummed from the front seat.

“You know Stevonnie, right?”

“I think I’m familiar.” The man smiled as he drove, letting his son spell the question out at his own pace.

“Is it...weird...that...Connie and I...is Stevonnie...” Steven stammered. “Because I’m a boy...and Connie...”

“Is Stevonnie weird?” Connie asked all at once.

“Hrmmm,” Greg loudly pondered. “Well, to be honest, yeah. Yeah, kinda.”

Steven and Connie shared a worried look.

“But, since when has that ever been a bad thing?” the man smiled.

“But it  _ is _ weird that they aren’t a boy or a girl?” Connie tried to clarify.

“Or that they’re both?” Steven added.

“Ha!” Greg chuckled. “Actually, no, that part’s not that weird. I meant more of the first human-gem fusion thing. And the floating.” He beamed at them through the rear-view mirror.

The kids smiled back. “But why not, though,” Steven persisted. “Why doesn’t that make them weird?”

“Well, first of all, a lot of people are like that for one reason or another. Some people are some boy, some girl, or both, or neither, or something else entirely. And second...” Greg thought for a moment. “...Secondly, you know Pluto?”

“Pluto the planet?” Steven asked.

“Pluto the  _ dwarf planet _ ,” Connie corrected.

“Pluto the  _ rock _ ,” said Greg. “Pluto doesn’t care what you call it. We made up names for planets and dwarf planets and asteroids and moons, but when our names for things don’t really line up with what the things really are, that doesn’t mean the things are  _ wrong _ . It just means we get to learn something new.”

The teens shared a pair of grins. “Thanks, dad!” said Steven.

Connie eyed the man from the back seat. “How long were you preparing that speech?”

“Oh only about a year.” He chuckled. “I was going to use a platypus metaphor, but Pluto was way better.”

“What! No way, I wanna hear the platypus one!” Steven said.

Connie’s laughter followed the van all the way back to the temple. She had a good birthday.


End file.
